The Low End of Normal

Penny had her 9 month check up a couple days ago. She's has always been really long in the 90th percentile and lower in weight, usually around the 50th. She was really sick throwing up and couple weeks ago, so her weight sort of flat lined. Which the dr said is ok, since she was sick. She has really started eating a lot more lately, so I'm not worried about her weight.

However, Penny has not started crawling yet and she doesn't really roll over. She has rolled over a couple times and it was a few months ago. Since then, she just sort of stopped rolling. She sits up and LOVES to sit up! She ca sit up forever. But apparently by now she should be crawling or scooting around on her bottom. She doesn't do this. We try to do tummy time, but she absolutely hates it. She cries and screams the whole time. It's hard to leave her on her tummy when she gets so upset. I mean upset! Snot everywhere because she is crying so hard. So of course, I sit her up. I'm sure this doesn't help. We also hold her ALL THE TIME. She's so small and cute and it only lasts for a short time, so we hold her as much as we can. Anyway, all of this puts her on the low end of normal. I'm not even quite sure what that means. Partly it means that she will start physical therapy. The will come to our house, hopefully for free, and teach us some things to do with Penny to encourage moving around. The other thing is means is that we are really worried. Of course we want the best for her. But hearing low end of normal is very concerning. We're trying to do more tummy time. It seems to go a little better if we let her play with a phone. Hopefully we can start therapy soon an she will take off! I suppose it's time to start baby proofing!

Carousel Ride

Going to the zoo is one of our favorite things to! We bought a membership and it has paid for itself for sure! Yesterday we took Penny on the carousel for the first time! She wasn't so sure about it and I have to admit it made me a little dizzy too. We'll try again in a few years!

Back to normal?

Ahh summer! School is finally over!!!! There were times I didn't think I would make it, but with the help and support of great friends here I am! The last 6 weeks of school were sort of crazy for me. I'm not quite sure why, but I sort of feel apart. I stopped working out, forgot about pretty much everything, the house was a mess all the time, ect. blah blah. I don't really have a reason for this, but anyway. Summer is here and I don't have to work for 7 whole weeks. Yes!
First, I need to get caught up on everything. Cleaning the house, paying bills, grocery shopping, that kind of stuff.
Second, I want to try and do something fun with Penny everyday. Going to the park, taking a walk, going shopping :) I would love to be a stay at home mom, but since that isn't possible being a teacher with summers off is the next best thing, so I'm going to love every second of it!
Third, I'm going to get rid of the last of this damn baby weight! So, I pretty much lost all the weight I gained during pregnancy give or take 1 or 2 pounds. However, my clothes still don't fit that great. I want to loose 10-15 more pounds this summer. I'm going to work out everyday! It's going well so far. I set up a little area for Penny in the basement to play in while I work out. I need to get some DVD's that are about 30 minutes. An hour long one is too much for Penny to sit and play by herself.
My last little goal for the summer is to blog more! It's on my phone so we shall see how it goes!

Sitting up!

Penny is sitting up all by herself now! I can't believe it. Time flies by so fast!

Guilt

I stopped breastfeeding Penny after she was a month old.  I just didn't ever have enough milk and she was losing weight at an alarming weight.  I tried using an SNS to help things get going and I also took medicine that makes you lactate.  Unfortunatly, the medicine also makes you depressed.  After having a baby with crazy hormones, they medicine did not make me feel good.  I had to make the very tough decision to stop breastfeeding.  I guess it was the right decision.  I was able to be a better mom and Penny started getting the nutrition that she needed to be healthy.  However, I still have massive feelings of guilt for not be able to breastfeed her.  I guess it's always there, it just doens't always bother me.  Whenever, I see the bottles in the fridge at daycare with the blue tape (which means breast milk) or hear antoher mom talking about how much they love breastfeeding and how much better it is for babies I feel absolutely awful.  It's all I can do not to break down and cry.  Almost everyone I know was able to breastfeed their baby.  I really wish I could have and now looking back I wondering if there was more I could have done.  Did I give up too early or not try hard enough?  I can't go back now, I just don't know how to get over it.  I can only hope that time will take away these feelings...